All The Way My Saviour Leads Me

Every time I open my Bible God speaks to me and I can apply the scriptures to my circumstances -not that I am manipulating the scripture to suit me – no, I am seeking out the principles from the text and applying them to myself/ circumstances.

After writing my last blog – I felt quite guilty – and a little angry with myself for having a pity party.

It goes against all the principles outlined in the Scriptures!

One of our Church Elders challenged us to take on reading the Bible in a year – by taking 5 bookmarks and reading The Old Testament, The Psalms and Proverbs, The 4 Gospels, Apostolic History and Letters of Paul and finally the Epistles and Apocalypse; one chapter from each section per day, we’d be able to complete, re-reading some books, in one year.

When I was in Korea I bought myself a Joyce Meyer, Everyday Bible, Amplified Version. I know there are some that like/ love Joyce and others who don’t. My Bible of hers really helps me and guides me more than some of my previous Bible’s and I have two books of hers too; Battlefield of The Mind and Living Beyond Your Feelings – and I have read them (not finished them) but used them at times in my life that they really assisted me. My Everyday Bible includes prayers, running commentary of scripture, Joyce’s understanding and testimonies from scripture and life points during chapters.

I am very much enjoying the blending of the history, the songs that cry out with joy amidst times of despair and trials and persecution, to the times Jesus taught (really understanding Jesus’s character and the things he said and knowing more about His personality), through to the Holy Spirit being left for us after Jesus’s ascension to heaven and the forming of new churches and the spreading of the word to maintaining and continually growing with the help of the Holy Spirit. Yesterday and the day before I felt especially challenged and convicted because I was reading Matthew 5 and 6 – they are really challenging scriptures! Jesus is quite sternly saying that we cannot get to heaven if we are holding anything against anyone; no resentment, no anger – if someone has hurt us we are to turn the other cheek – we are to love our enemies even more than our friends! and to pray for them. I cried because I have so much pent up resentment and anger towards Mark’s family – I have felt guilty going to church and singing praise and worship and knowing that I haven’t fully forgiven these people. I am praying about it a lot – and talking to God about it a lot! Luckily the first step is acknowledging that I am failing and then working at bettering myself – and at the end of matthew 5 it states that we must “be perfect growing into complete maturity of godliness of mind and character…” growing stood out for me as a process – not something I will achieve overnight. And as Joyce says, “I’m not where I need to be but thank God I’m not where I used to be.”

Matthew Chapter 6 was also especially challenging because towards the end it covers how we are not supposed to worry or be anxious – about money, possessions, what to eat or what to wear – for our Father knows our every need and loves us even more than the birds and beautiful flowers. Instead of worrying about these worldly things, that God already knows we need, He says we are to aim and strive for His kingdom and His righteousness – His way of doing and being right – and all the worldly needs will be given to us. As Joyce says – we are to be wise with finances and be responsible in our saving and spending but not to be greedy and obsessed about it nor should we obsess on how little we have – rather we must just focus on and pursue God’s kingdom which is a far more rewarding treasure and won’t rot or decay.

I need to seek God’s face at all times! When I focus on my problems and have my “pity party” – it all becomes about me -I forget so easily about the principles that I would have just learnt a day ago – I start not taking out my Bible and having my time with The Lord; and sometimes it may be for a day or two or a weekend – BUT I tell you it feels like years of being away from God and harder and harder each time to draw closer to Him – instead I get deeper into my funk, I fight with Mark, I can’t see an end to the tunnel – and what happens? I get further away from my Father – He doesn’t ever leave me! He is and always will be constant – we make the gap bigger and bigger when we worry/ don’t seek His face, think wrong thoughts and negative things.

I love the Psalms because they too remind me that I am not to be miserable even though my circumstances stink! I am always to lift my head up to Him! Rejoice in the good and bad – because after the trials the glory can go to God.

Psalm 6 especially spoke to me yesterday – I was feeling guilty for my many failures – and yet I was encouraged knowing how weak and fragile our bodies are – God is ever merciful and gracious regardless of how often we slip – we are weak – but we can ask God to be gracious, return to us, give us relief, with His steadfast love and mercy; The Lord hears our prayers.

It is so wonderful for me to find comfort in The Word. Coming back to it and having my time with The Lord always replenishes me just like drinking from the crispest flowing stream after a long hike; I can truly testify to Jesus quenching thirst. And I wonder why I ever left. I know I will falter, maybe life will get busy again, I won’t read my 5 book marked places and then those nasty things will creep in again – but I have to remain growing – taking what I am learning and applying to my daily life As Hebrews encourages to keep doing- and hopefully I will grow as a person and not “pity party” again too soon.

I also have to say that keeping my Sunday appointments with Jesus and going to Church and having fellowship with my church family and getting replenished with the Word AS WELL as singing Worship songs also greatly uplifts me and my spirit! I’ve HAVE to remind myself, DAILY, to offer myself to God, really surrender all myself, my dreams, my fears, my happiness – and He will always fill me!

I have included some of my favourite Worship songs that are really reviving me and speaking into my situations at the moment!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yrZETO6DiEQ – Hungry
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZzEkhTwiODc – Lord Reign In Me
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kV5iZBTNYrk – The Stand
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oCwDtSFMjdw – All Who Are Thirsty
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oY0y3pWCrtA – Hosanna
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lvi1UM_4YcM – All The Way My Saviour Leads Me

I will hopefully blog soon about this past Sunday’s sermon on Decision Making – and you will see how the songs fit so nicely – ^^ I will also fill you all in on the wonderful 1st birthday party we threw for Liya and FOR ONCE my successful food I prepared off of Pinterest! (with pics kkk) and last but certainly not least – I have decided to be Baptised on August 18th – hopefully its not tooo cold brrr but I am excited to be Baptised as I have been Saved and dedicated myself to Christ but haven’t formally been Baptised and would like to as I am now also officially a Member of The Village Church Lonehill 🙂

Not another love story… (Part 9)

It was in the December of 2012 that me following God’s will and doing as He says, getting to know Him more and submitting every inch of myself to Him, that I was seeing results.
I can boast that I have not touched drugs in 3 and a half years.
I have completely given up smoking for 7 months now – although I only smoked over weekends and had reduced to possibly 4 a weekend the year before the 7 that have passed.
I cannot go to a club without getting annoyed with smokers and people bumping me. Occasionally I feel like I want to go dancing and get dolled up and go out but quickly remind myself how annoying being in a club is now and stinking of the cigarette smoke – yuk.
I cannot drink copiously anymore. The day after my Bacherlorette Party and another day after a friend’s birthday – of hangovers from hell – can testify to that fact. I FEEL like I am 21 and I can joke and act 21 sometimes but I know I have changed – my mind has shifted and I cannot bare to try and LIVE like a 21 year old. My goodness I don’t even drive like I did back then – racing around with this go go attitude.

On the 2nd of December I went to my friend’s 30 birthday dinner at the Zoo Lake Moyo. I didn’t want to go. I was tired – Nannies was draining me. I was a tad depro cause I’d gotten to the point where I was embracing a life single – that many women had been called to never marry and that I was one of them. In my head I was planning and getting documents together to return to Korea beginning Feb. I wanted the months to fly by so I could say bye. I was early, the birthday girl was late, I knew no-one, and I joined a table, the only table where there were people who merrily coaxed me over to join them.
Mark was seated opposite me.
Maybe I am a dork. But IT WAS  love at first sight. I kept staring at him through the evening, did the hair flick thing, though he was a bit shy and didn’t maintain eye contact too long kkk, I tried to talk to him after the meal but he was a bit shy. He did get the table free wine because my food was late and half the stuff on the menu was sold out and he waited for me to get my food before he started eating – someone who didn’t even know me.
I gave up by the end of the night in waiting for him to ask for my number and I left. I thought to myself,  “I AM NOT CHASING THIS ONE”. If it’s God’s will then he will find a way to contact me and if he does, great, if not then that’s meant to be.
Well, later on the next day, my friend asked me if she could give Mark my number – I was thrilled and when Mark texted me I said “took you long enough!” Neither of us wasted time. We met an hour later for “coffee”, the place was closed, so ended up sharing wine and both talking non stop, which later ended in pizza, and us both getting home after midnight. There was an instant connection and I just knew that he was different, that the date was different. I was so sure about Mark, was upfront with him, that there was to be no sex before marriage. I went home feeling great about him BUT I had to clear one thing up with him. – I texted him and asked him if he was a Christian, and would he come with me to my church because I wanted a man who would join me at my church and who I could share the same belief with, pray with, and raise my children with, with the same ideals in mind. I was so scared. I really liked Mark but I was following God’s will now and if Mark turned around and said no – I would have to – no – had to, say good bye. I was so scared after texting him, in the evening, that I switched off my phone and only turned it on when I woke up…

Mark really surprised me. I could take on the day smiling. He said to me that he was a Christian but he needed to get closer to The Lord and wanted to get closer to The Lord and if he could with me then that would be great. Amen.
As quickly as we went on our first date, was as quickly as we said I love you, as quickly as we were engaged and as quickly as we were married. Mark and I did everything according to God’s will.
We met Colin (one of the Village Church Lonehill Elders) and did the marriage course. We went on dates and outings together. I planned the wedding with my cousin, Joni, and other family like my married cousin Hayley, helped me with finding a dress, going cake tasting, and makeup runs. My family fell in love with Mark the minute they met him! And he is as much a part of our family as if we have known him for many years!
Don’t get me wrong, we haven’t been prepared for the twists and turns that have happened since getting married and although we set goals and made plans for what WE wanted to do once married God has been showing us that He is in control not us…