Not another love story… (Part 9)

It was in the December of 2012 that me following God’s will and doing as He says, getting to know Him more and submitting every inch of myself to Him, that I was seeing results.
I can boast that I have not touched drugs in 3 and a half years.
I have completely given up smoking for 7 months now – although I only smoked over weekends and had reduced to possibly 4 a weekend the year before the 7 that have passed.
I cannot go to a club without getting annoyed with smokers and people bumping me. Occasionally I feel like I want to go dancing and get dolled up and go out but quickly remind myself how annoying being in a club is now and stinking of the cigarette smoke – yuk.
I cannot drink copiously anymore. The day after my Bacherlorette Party and another day after a friend’s birthday – of hangovers from hell – can testify to that fact. I FEEL like I am 21 and I can joke and act 21 sometimes but I know I have changed – my mind has shifted and I cannot bare to try and LIVE like a 21 year old. My goodness I don’t even drive like I did back then – racing around with this go go attitude.

On the 2nd of December I went to my friend’s 30 birthday dinner at the Zoo Lake Moyo. I didn’t want to go. I was tired – Nannies was draining me. I was a tad depro cause I’d gotten to the point where I was embracing a life single – that many women had been called to never marry and that I was one of them. In my head I was planning and getting documents together to return to Korea beginning Feb. I wanted the months to fly by so I could say bye. I was early, the birthday girl was late, I knew no-one, and I joined a table, the only table where there were people who merrily coaxed me over to join them.
Mark was seated opposite me.
Maybe I am a dork. But IT WAS  love at first sight. I kept staring at him through the evening, did the hair flick thing, though he was a bit shy and didn’t maintain eye contact too long kkk, I tried to talk to him after the meal but he was a bit shy. He did get the table free wine because my food was late and half the stuff on the menu was sold out and he waited for me to get my food before he started eating – someone who didn’t even know me.
I gave up by the end of the night in waiting for him to ask for my number and I left. I thought to myself,  “I AM NOT CHASING THIS ONE”. If it’s God’s will then he will find a way to contact me and if he does, great, if not then that’s meant to be.
Well, later on the next day, my friend asked me if she could give Mark my number – I was thrilled and when Mark texted me I said “took you long enough!” Neither of us wasted time. We met an hour later for “coffee”, the place was closed, so ended up sharing wine and both talking non stop, which later ended in pizza, and us both getting home after midnight. There was an instant connection and I just knew that he was different, that the date was different. I was so sure about Mark, was upfront with him, that there was to be no sex before marriage. I went home feeling great about him BUT I had to clear one thing up with him. – I texted him and asked him if he was a Christian, and would he come with me to my church because I wanted a man who would join me at my church and who I could share the same belief with, pray with, and raise my children with, with the same ideals in mind. I was so scared. I really liked Mark but I was following God’s will now and if Mark turned around and said no – I would have to – no – had to, say good bye. I was so scared after texting him, in the evening, that I switched off my phone and only turned it on when I woke up…

Mark really surprised me. I could take on the day smiling. He said to me that he was a Christian but he needed to get closer to The Lord and wanted to get closer to The Lord and if he could with me then that would be great. Amen.
As quickly as we went on our first date, was as quickly as we said I love you, as quickly as we were engaged and as quickly as we were married. Mark and I did everything according to God’s will.
We met Colin (one of the Village Church Lonehill Elders) and did the marriage course. We went on dates and outings together. I planned the wedding with my cousin, Joni, and other family like my married cousin Hayley, helped me with finding a dress, going cake tasting, and makeup runs. My family fell in love with Mark the minute they met him! And he is as much a part of our family as if we have known him for many years!
Don’t get me wrong, we haven’t been prepared for the twists and turns that have happened since getting married and although we set goals and made plans for what WE wanted to do once married God has been showing us that He is in control not us…

“For I know the plans I have for you,”, declares The Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11 (Part 7)

Up until now I haven’t mentioned that for 2 years I had a Korean boyfriend. I met him around June 2010 – I was still new to Korea so I was pretty naive (about the importance of speaking the same language and being equally yoked in who we date) and I hadn’t yet joined the church and my whole attitude of doing wrong instead of right was still strong.
Although at the time it stunk for me I thank God that He did what He did – I just feel stupid and I regret that I wasn’t stronger.
Shortly after meeting Yoon Ho he left to study in America for what we first thought would be one year – so we thought that we could make long distance work for one year. I wish I was the strong, Christ filled person I am now and that the minute he went abroad I had said “cheers – let’s be friends and if God wants us to be together then one day it will transpire. And let that be that.”
I would have saved myself endless hours of tears and fighting across language barriers and time – and I would have thrived even more in Korea, with my friends and in my job.
NEVERTHELESS, I DID THINGS MY WAY – Cause that’s what I am good at.
Long story short – we ended up having a TWO YEAR long distance relationship – I saw him, maybe 4 times in the 2 years – so we actually had a friendship and neither of us could break up with the other – somehow we thought it could work out sometime in the future.
It was only at the beginning of 2012 that God started revealing to me more and more, and I started actually paying attention,  that He wants us to be partnered with Christians. I thought I would marry Yoon Ho – but he was Buddhist, not practicing, but his family was. They also practice Confucian rituals –  keeping their ancestors happy by bowing down to graves, making and leaving food at the graves they clean once a year and so on.
How would we raise our children? Where would we live? What sort of wedding would we have? – I wasn’t going to bow down to his family in a tea ceremony as part of the wedding.
All these things I should have adhered to and thought about before EVER going on a second date with the man.

Fast forward to July 2012. I FINALLY broke up with Yoon Ho – he finally gave up studying in the States and went home and I was in SA. I started going more and more to Lonehill Village Church with Li and Bryan and sometimes their Cell at Adam and Jess. I found myself in a crossroads phase.
1) I wasn’t working
2) I had my savings and I was living with my mom and dad so my expenses were low BUT I was spending my savings unnecessarily
3) I wasn’t 100% sure I’d made the right choice about the breakup
4) I was looking into many travel/ work options confused about where I was meant to head out to or do
5) I was feeling bad about just lazing in pajamas and reading all day when there is a world I was meant to be exploring/ volunteering in etc

Yet at the same time I was learning to DRAW NEARER to God and take the time to bask in Him because I had the free time to do so.

It was one night at church that GOD SPOKE SO LOUDLY AND CLEARLY – a lady spoke out and said that God was telling her to share that all of us young, single adults have got to be equally yoked with other Christians in our dating and planning for marriage.
I started crying in the worship. God was speaking so clearly and directly to me in that I had most certainly made the correct decision in ending it with Yoon Ho AND that from now on I HAVE GOT TO FOLLOW HIS COMMANDS – I made an immediate promise to God that I would not from that moment forward date anyone who was not a Christian – and I didn’t! I met a few people before I met Mark and within the first 5 minutes of a date I asked if they were a Christian and when they said no I ended off the date and went straight home to report to my mom. I tried to church hop to find a Christian man but no church compared to Lonehill Village.
In the same worship, whilst I was crying, a gentleman, Marc Reese, came up to me and started praying for me – and you won’t believe what he said! – He told me that God is telling him to tell me that I am standing on top of a mountain and looking down at this CRISS-CROSSING HIGHWAY and that I don’t know what to do or which way to go! All God is saying to him to tell me is move forward, one step in front of the next and HE will show me the way. How utterly amazing and magnificent is God that He will speak directly to me through another person in the exact metaphor that I base my journey with God on?!
I left that service, having felt the pressing down presence of The Holy Spirit throughout, feeling comforted and revived.
I was not/ am not meant to do things or try and plan my life when God is in control – God knows what’s best for me. I am too submit every part of my life and my being to God. I am to submit to His commandments because I only hurt myself each and every time I push Him aside and try do things my way and on my terms.