The stress Mark got under at work has caused a problem or two in our marriage;
me being stubborn and impatient, wanting to travel, getting over that I wanted to travel, wanting more from him cause I became lonely, and not being able to express myself better except through throwing a hissy fit, or being too needy, has caused problems…
BUT THANK THE LORD we have stayed committed to our Cell Group to our Church, to our volunteering commitments, to our Bible study and quiet times.
I have really grown so much closer to God, my love for Jesus is still so crazy mad and although I get mad at Him for what we going through I quickly repent and am learning that I cannot dwell on the problem – we need to focus on God, focus on living Christlike lives and rejoicing in all the blessings we do have – God is leading the way! He has our hand and He isn’t taking us where we cannot fully cope.
We are seeing it and boy will we rejoice and glorify God once the troubles are over –
God is moving so much in our life right now! It’s extremely exciting as much as it is painful and scary. I am loving reading the Psalms at the moment – I actually love to open my Bible and see where I get lead over and over again and pretend that I can hear Jesus’s voice through the scriptures.
Mark and I have learnt over the past month that God works extremely quickly when His plans are spun into motion.
Mark’s business has been slowly suffering and going under, for many month’s now, at the hands of his father and step-mother and corrupt employees – not to his father’s acknowledgement – regardless of how often Mark has tried to show him, and his brother, and employees (Mark is the CFO – he knows every cent and movement of every cent in the company – if he says something is wrong – you believe him). Instead, Mark has been dealt constant verbal abuse, been sent poor performance letters, had sexual harrasment and rascist charges laid against him (then quickly retracted), had cops called on him (and then quickly called back not to come), he’s been constantly abused at the hands of HIS OWN FAMILY and an incompentant and corrupt, low level employee, that Mark hired to assist him, but instead quickly turned against him and started sabotaging the company and tried to oust Mark – A SHAREHOLDER and MANAGER, from the company. Any of those who REALLY know Mark and who have met him can honestly tell you that there is not an aggressive bone in his body – even when I fight with him and push him – he remains calm and never raises his voice at me.
Now when I say God moves quickly – this is what I mean:
Up until Mark met me he let people walk all over him, push him around, get their way, voice their opinions, carry on on their power trips and do whatever they pleased; his brushed things, that were not right, under the carpet. In only these months that we have been together has Mark grown and changed and started standing up for himself and what is right, even his family that have high egos and high opinions and are often downright not nice people – and ALL the time in a Christlike way – Godly ways in all his dealings – when so often he could have acted in ungoldy ways – he could’ve lost it big time! I rant and rave and say all the possible things I would like to do to these people and all the while Mark says no – we act like Christians and be Christlike in everything – no matter how hard it is for us!
I then am forced to turn to God hourly, as I am alone so often, all I can do is open my Bible, reach for my “Power of a Praying Wife”, listen to my Worship songs, and read, and pray and rejoice that this is for some greater purpose.
In the space of 2 weeks Mark has resigned. He isn’t even going to fight for his 30% shares owed to him (he knows the company won’t afford to pay him – and his own health and sanity isn’t worth the money), he is following procedures, lawfully, by the book, dealing with his exit from the company in as pleasant and respectable manner as possible – regardless of all the ways he’s been abused. I admire and salute him! I am so proud of him!
We may lose our house, and our apartment – as Mark owns the most assets – because there are still sureties in his name – which we are praying, God willing, his father will amicably release him from by the end of the month – because the company is fast spiralling into bankrupcy because his father simply chose to ignore everything Mark was saying to him and instead sided with a greedy wife and corrupt employee, and who knows, by the end of the month there may be no more company – no employees will get paid – ! It is so extremely sad for Mark to see a company he has poured his soul into for the past 13 years go under. But he is remaining positive about the new things on the horizon – God’s plans for us – a new suburb to live in – away from his family – Mark is still young enough and ambicious enough to get more than his worth and what he got and how he was treated by his father.
I am certainly more grown up, much wiser, and closer to Christ than I was in my 20’s.
My husband is more important to me than anything else. His sanity, his health are more important to me than anything else. I do not believe we will JUST LOSE THE HOUSE but it could happen – regardless – we can survive and God will take care of us. We will not suddenly be out on the street – we have family and friends and God who can take care of us.
Together Mark and I are making new starts and it’s really a breath of fresh air – we don’t need two cars – it’s sad to let go of a paid off BMW that we both really enjoy (but it’s just a car!), and an Amarok that we take the dogs everywhere in (it’s just a car!).. a car is THE least valuable asset we could have!
We’ve both been extremely humbled by the experiences.
We are downgrading a lot of our lifestyle and we are only the better for it.
We can share a car, that’s small and fuel efficient (as petrol prices are nothing to laugh at at the moment), we don’t NEED DTSV or eating out once a week – we have more than enough at home – at family – at friends. Because we’re selling cars and hopefully getting a great, new paying tenant for our apartment, and Mark is so money savvy that we have a policy that can look after us and selling the motorbike – we will manage to cover all our costs whilst Mark finds a new job.
And already Mark has had a confident boost while we prepared him a CV – he has a wealth of knowledge and experience and he will no doubt find a new job; he has already been called for interviews and had people interested in him and he is focusing on moving into working on his own as a Consultant with a small client base – so watch this space ^^
From my side I hope to report on all the new and exciting beginings that will take shape.
Once Mark is settled – once we know where we may live (where he will work) – I can then look at where I could work – I can start studying in January – (I put off studying in July – and it was definitely God ordained – because had I gone to Cape Town for a week of orientation #1 I wouldn’t have been there to support my husband as he resigned and #2 I would have realised we don’t actually have the funds for me to continue with my studies)
Everything happens for a reason. Right now – I am too support my hubby – I am to maintain a clean home (we have released our domestic worker as we can’t afford her) I am to cook and keep my hubby healthy and strong, I AM TO DRAW CLOSER TO GOD in all things! Surrender all things! At the end of the day – nothing is ours! We will leave this earth with nothing – so we cannot hold onto anything – except God!